no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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