I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
My dick has a subreddit
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
