Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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