So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
And then he peed in my hair
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