everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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