Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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