DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
