He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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