Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
