I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
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