She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
