You smell like stripper and shame
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
YAS. BRING CRAB.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
