dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
did you just send me my own nude
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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