it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I won't apologize to a one balled man
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
