I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
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I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
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the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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