did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
