i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
