We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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