You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
