and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize