I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
