when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
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i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
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she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
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