$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
How external is "for external use only"?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
