Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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