It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
organizing the empties. That sober.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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