i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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