Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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