i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
