I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
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she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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