Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
it was like eating out sand paper
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
the room spins SO much faster in panama
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
