I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I showed him my bush... on skype.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
