dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
