i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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