My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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