dude i'm inner monologue high
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
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