Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
