Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
