i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
