dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
