This dress was meant to end up on your floor
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
