Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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