just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
we should paint friendship bongs
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
