is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize