There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
