i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
