I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
