Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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