You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
