billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
