Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
