I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
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i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
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Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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