So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
