She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I've blown a few things in my day
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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