do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
apparently the secret to your success is patron
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
