weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
