i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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